Anger issued…

Thinkering

One of the prime tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous is: you must admit that the problem is too big for you to handle alone.  I used to scratch my head at that.  But then, I was just a cub and thought I was big enough to handle anything.  I’ve since learned better.

As I’ve mentioned before, my old man was a grizzly with a temper to match.  Naturally (or so I read), I grew up with an anger issue as well.  You could say my father taught me that was how a person handled adversity.  However, I also knew from my mother that it was wrong, so I fought for control of it the best I could my whole life.  Unfortunately, I failed more often than I succeeded.  I have a whole string of wrecked relationships to show for it.

I did finally get a handle on my anger, however, and it happened suddenly.  I wasn’t shown the error of my ways by an angel.  I didn’t have a time traveling alien show me the ultimate aftermath of all my bad decisions.  I wasn’t struck down by an avenging god…well, probably not.  Crippled by an insidious disease that runs in my family, I finally learned that there are indeed some things too big for me to handle alone.

So I don’t rage against the disease.  I don’t take out my frustrations by kicking the dog.  I simply accept it, and the aftermath.  It’s too big for me, and I admit that I need family, friends, and even my dog to help.  Let’s face it: what age and personal growth couldn’t accomplish, personal pain did.  It made me a better person.

If not more humble…

🙂

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