One of the prime tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous is: you must admit that the problem is too big for you to handle alone. I used to scratch my head at that. But then, I was just a cub and thought I was big enough to handle anything. I’ve since learned better.
As I’ve mentioned before, my old man was a grizzly with a temper to match. Naturally (or so I read), I grew up with an anger issue as well. You could say my father taught me that was how a person handled adversity. However, I also knew from my mother that it was wrong, so I fought for control of it the best I could my whole life. Unfortunately, I failed more often than I succeeded. I have a whole string of wrecked relationships to show for it.
I did finally get a handle on my anger, however, and it happened suddenly. I wasn’t shown the error of my ways by an angel. I didn’t have a time traveling alien show me the ultimate aftermath of all my bad decisions. I wasn’t struck down by an avenging god…well, probably not. Crippled by an insidious disease that runs in my family, I finally learned that there are indeed some things too big for me to handle alone.
So I don’t rage against the disease. I don’t take out my frustrations by kicking the dog. I simply accept it, and the aftermath. It’s too big for me, and I admit that I need family, friends, and even my dog to help. Let’s face it: what age and personal growth couldn’t accomplish, personal pain did. It made me a better person.
If not more humble…